Best Way to Deal with Whatever

The most skilful way of dealing with this or that is dealing with it is in the present moment with present moment mindfulness. There is no point thinking about the aspects of past that we cant work with in the present moment. Similarly, there is no point in worrying about the future or the results. 

In order to be effective, our whole focus must be in the present moment. Right here and right now is where the action is done, which is going to shape the future. Future comes from what mind is doing at present, right here and right now.

This does not mean that contemplating about past or future is never helpful. For example, its often helpful to contemplate the cause and effect relationship of our past experiences, which enables us to learn from our mistakes and develop beneficial actions further. Similarly, we often need to make decisions and plan for the future in order to do something skilfully. 

However, whether its contemplating the past or the act of deciding or planning for future, it is all happening right in the present moment, and that is where the focus should be while contemplating, deciding or planning. We can work the best when we have present moment awareness.

Mindfulness of our intensions, motivations, thoughts, feeling, reactions to those feelings as the result of habitual patterns – working with all this in the present moment is the best way to deal with whatever.

Only when we can catch our biases, habitual unskilful thoughts and habitual reactions to the feelings in the present moment, can we spot our judgements based on emotional preferences and not react by making wrong decisions with wrong motivations.

Next is to develop wisdom in order to distinguish skilful from unskilful. Skilful is what is truely beneficial and leads to long-term happiness for ourselves.

Tagging with 'Likes' & 'Dislikes'

When either of our 5 senses/mind, their respective sense objects/mind objects and consciousness come in contact, feeling is produced. Either this feeling is that of pleasure, displeasure or neutral.

Based on the pleasurable / unpleasurable feeling produced, our tendency is to immediately get either attached / repulsed by it respectively.

Based on this attachment / revulsion towards the feeling we often form a view about the sense experience - 'I like it' or 'I dislike it'. The extent to which we do this, is mostly not noticeable unless we develop our mindfulness to a certain extent and notice our subtle swings in mood with each sensory input. We do this very subtly and almost habitually.

Why so?

We have probably developed this mechanism in order to gain pleasure and avoid displeasure - after all only by tagging it all and remembering it, can we know what to peruse and what to avoid in future.

And often it does seem to lead to pleasure when we get what we want or are able to avoid what we wish to avoid.

Downside

If we look closely, we find that the more tags we have, the more it creates long-term unsatisfactoriness, anxiety, fear, grief, greed, hate, etc. All these harmful states of mind arise so as to:

     -       get what we 'LIKE' and avoid what we 'DISLIKE';

     -       maintain what we 'LIKE' and continue avoiding what we 'DISLIKE';

     -       not lose what we 'LIKE' and not gain what we 'DISLIKE';

Sometimes, we notice that the amount of anxiety, fear, grief or unsatisfactoriness is not worth the momentarily pleasure we get once in a while.

Furthermore, we create wrong views. The information stored in our memory about ‘LIKE’ or ‘DISLIKE’ is obsolete. We often can’t recall clearly why we took some decision, or arrived at some conclusion, or the reason of our liking/disliking something, yet we feel safer to rely on our past memories and tags that we had set for our future reference. But we must investigate how unreliable this potentially could be. For certain things it might not matter that much, however, some other things that we are habitually doing and is causing misery for us or others, needs such investigation.

Wisdom Quotes

Your mind is your master. Learn to be its master and not its slave.	-- Remez Sasson
A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people’s business.	-- Eric Hoffer
Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.	--Albert Einstein
You should never let your fears prevent you from doing what you know is right.	--Aung San Suu Kyi
If I advocate for cautious optimism, it is not because I do not have faith, but because I do not want to encourage blind faith.	--Aung San Suu Kyi
I think, if you have enough inner resources, then you can live in isolation for long periods of time and not feel diminished by it.	--Aung San Suu Kyi
If you are feeling helpless, help someone.	--Aung San Suu Kyi
Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.	--Mark Twain
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.	-- Unknown
When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.	--The Tao Te Ching
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.	--Joseph Campbell
Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.	-- Eckhart Tolle
Expecting the world to treat you fairly is like expecting a bull not to hit you because you're vegetarian	-- Unknown
For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing.	-- Nietzsche
The things you own end-up owning you. It's only after you lose everything you're free to do anything...	-- Chuck Palahniuk
No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back.	--Turkish Proverb
What we resist persists!	-- Unknown
Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hardwork. It means to be calm in your heart even in midst of those things.	-- Unknown
There are two tragedies in life: one is not to get your heart's desire, the other is to get it.	-- Bernard Shaw
I’m indeed rich, since my income is superior to my expense, and my expense is equal to my wishes.	– Khalil Gibran
If you have a reason, you do not need to shout.	-- Zen Proverb
…if you hear the truth and do not live it, your life become a hideous confusion, the sorrowful mess which it is…	-- Unknown
The happiness is happiness to you only till you reach there!	-- Unknown
The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone...	-- Henrik Ibsen
When neither hatred nor love disturb our minds, serenely we sleep...	-- Unknown
Whatever the outcome may be, the important thing is to step forward on the path that you believe is right.	-- Daiasku Ikeda
All appointments are ending up in disappointment; therefore have an appointment with disappointment so you will never be disappointed...	-- Unknown
Nothing lasts forever, and if you believe it does, you'll only put yourself in a world of misery...	-- Unknown
Life is like a honey-gathering bee: after collecting all the honey from myriad flowers, they age and their labour leaves them with nothing.	-- Unknown
Conventional opinion is the ruin of our souls	– Rumi
Why do I not rather seek some real good - one which I could feel, not one which I could display? These things that draw the eyes of men, before which they halt, which they show to one another in wonder, outwardly glitter, but are worthless within.	-- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
It was not only that I could not become spiteful, I did not know how to become anything; neither spiteful nor kind, neither a rascal nor an honest man, neither a hero nor an insect. Now, I am living out my life in my corner, taunting myself with the spiteful and useless consolation that an intelligent man cannot become anything seriously, and it is only the fool who becomes anything...	-- Dostoyevsky

Life didn't come with a instruction-manual

Training our minds in right direction, we are sometimes confused about what to do in what scenario. We want to know all the steps to follow for all the possibilities that can exist.

But mind is very dynamic (dependent on varied causes/condition which are ever changing), so there are countess possibilities. Therefore, its good to have a attitude of EXPERIMENTATION. We might not know which button to press exactly in all situations, but we learn in the process. We learn what CAUSES lead to which EFFECTS and how changing the causes change the effects. Important is to always keep the observer (mindfulness) intact while doing the experiment.

Like someone asked: "what do I do when I get angry - Observe/Substitute thoughts or Observe Feelings?"

Well, it doesn't matter so much what you apply, as much as if mindfulness is fully intact, you will learn something or the other.

eg: from Thought Substitution: You see cause-effect (how changed thoughts lead to changed result) and thus are not-self.

eg: from Observing Feeling: You notice feelings are impermanence and not-self.

eg: from Observing Body: You learn about how mind and body are interconnected and interdependent.

eg: from analysing the cause of anger: You might see where your attachment lies.

eg: from Observing thoughts and poking your self a question- 'from where did I get this way of thinking?': You might see how your thoughts are conditioned by people, society, culture, media, your habitual patters of thinking you have developed, your assumptions of reality, etc.

...When you get good at this, you can even start playing with your thoughts, by replacing them with thoughts that are more aligned with the reality or are more beneficial and see the effects it has on feelings, body, etc.

So, its not about "knowing beforehand" what to apply to our minds, but working with our mind real-time, tending to what our mind needs at that time. It is similar to how we read the child and see the situation before deciding how to deal with him/her: you are liberal at times while strict when needed; one way of dealing/strategy doesn't suit at all times.

Personally, when my mind goes out of control, I have tried this 5-fold strategy to control my mind. Then when I am in a controllable situation, I gather my mindfulness to observe/investigate anything that I think would be relevant at that situation. If I see thoughts are overpowering, I don't investigate them. The very fact the thoughts are overpowering means that my mind is full of delusion. So if I investigate from that state of mind, I will only condition my thinking further in a wrong direction. So, I observe other objects of mindfulness. In case of anger, changes in body are very apparent and therefore very interesting to observe. So, we can choose the most apparent/interesting thing to observe at that moment which captures our attention. Its easy to maintain our attention on something that is apparent/interesting to us. On the other hand, always deciding beforehand what to observe when this or that emotion arises, would be very constraining/limiting if not forcing/suppressing.

ये जीवन है...

Yeh Jeevan Hai	ये जीवन है	This is the life
Yeh Jeevan Hai, Is Jeevan Ka Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai Rungroop Yeh Jeevan Hai, Is Jeevan Ka Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai Rungroop Thode Ghum Hain, Thodi Khushiyan Thode Ghum Hain, Thodi Khushiyan Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai - Yahi Hai Chaon Dhoop Yeh Jeevan Hai... Yeh Na Socho Isme Apni Haar Hai Ke Jeet Hai Yeh Na Socho Isme Apni Haar Hai Ke Jeet Hai oose Apna Lo Jo Bhi Jeevan Ki Reet Hai Yeh Zid Chodo, Yuh Na Todo Har Pal Ek Darpan Hai Yeh Jeevan Hai...	ये जीवन है, इस जीवन का यही है, यही है, यही हैं रंगरूप ये जीवन है, इस जीवन का यही है, यही है, यही हैं रंगरूप थोड़े गम है, थोड़ी खुशियाँ थोड़े गम है, थोड़ी खुशियाँ यही है, यही है, यही हैं छाँव धुप ये जीवन है… ये ना सोचो, इस में अपनी, हार हैं के जीत हैं ये ना सोचो, इस में अपनी, हार हैं के जीत हैं उसे अपना लो जो भी, जीवन की रीत हैं ये जिद छोडो, यूं ना तोड़ो, हर पल इक दर्पण हैं ये जीवन है…	This is life, and this life has, it has, it has, it has these characteristics. This is life, and this life has, it has, it has, it has these characteristics It has little sadness & little happiness It has little sadness & little happiness It has, it has, it has shade & sun This is life… Don’t think: in it lies my defeat or victory Don’t think: in it lies my defeat or victory Just accept it whatever is life’s customs Let go this stubbornness, Let go disrupting this Every moment is a mirror This is life…

पानी सा निर्मल हो मेरा मन (My mind be pure like water)

mera man	मेरा मन	My mind
paanee saa nirmal ho mera man dharatee saa awichal ho mera man sooraj saa tejas ho mera man chandaa  saa sheetal ho mera man dhundhalaai aankhen jab, bharamaayaa chitt hain samajhe naa man ko jab satya ya asatya hain chanchalata, moh se door rahe apane he droh se door rahe karunamay nirbhay ho mera man	पानी सा निर्मल हो मेरा मन धरती सा अविचल हो मेरा मन सूरज सा तेजस हो मेरा मन चन्दा सा शीतल हो मेरा मन धुंधलाई आँखें जब, भरमाया चित्त हैं समझे ना मन को जब सत्य या असत्य हैं चंचलता, मोह से दूर रहे अपने ही द्रोह से दूर रहे करुणामय निर्भय हो मेरा मन	May my mind be pure like water May my mind be steady like earth May my mind be radiant /sharp/bright like the sun May my mind be cool like the moon When blurred is the vision, mind (chitta) is full of delusion When mind doesn't understand truth or lie May it stay away from unstable-fickle-restless-feverish attitude & delusion May it stay away from animosity May my mind be compassionate and fearless

हम को मन की शक्ति देना

Hum ko man ki shakti dena	हम को मन की शक्ति देना	May I have the strength in my heart
Hum ko man ki shakti dena, man vijay kare Doosron ki jay se pehle, khud ko jay kare Bhedbhav apne dil se, saaf kar sake Doosron se bhool ho to, maaf ker sake Jhoot se bache rahe, sach kadam bhare Doosron ki jay se pehle, khud ko jay kare Mushkile pade to hum pe itna karm kare Saath de to dharm ka, chale to dharm per Khud pe hosla rahe, Badi se na dare Doosron ki jay se pehle, khud ko jay kare Hum ko man ki shakti dena	हम को मन की शक्ति देना, मन विजय करे दूसरो की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करे भेदभाव अपने दिल से साफ़ कर सके दूसरो से भूल हो तो माफ़ कर सके झूठ से बचे रहे, सच कदम भरे दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करे मुश्किलें पड़े तो हम पे इतना कर्म कर साथ दे तो धरम का, चले तो धरम पर खुद पे हौसला रहे, बदी से ना डरे दूसरों की जय से पहले, खुद को जय करे हम को मन की शक्ति देना...	May I have the strength in my heart to conquer my heart. Before trying to conquer other, may I conquer myself first. May I be able to eliminate from my heart bias/prejudice; May I be able to forgive others for their mistakes; May I be able to stay away from lies; and walk the truthful path. Before trying to conquer other, may I conquer myself first Whenever the difficulties come in life, may I act in this manner: Act alongside the path of Dharma, walk on the path of Dharma Keeping the courage/trust in myself, may I not be afraid of pain/harm Before trying to conquer other, may I conquer myself first May I have the strength in my heart…